Spring Break Ends...

As with everything else, the brief break/holiday comes to an end...

It's already the 3rd -and final- week of holidays. The spring break is coming to a close. Next Monday will mark the beginning of the Summer Semester.

Summer Semester????

Yeah, well, here, in a country where everyday is kinda like summer, there's no such thing as summer break. But I may be wrong, though. It may be just the private colleges... or am I making this up?

See what the end of spring break does to me?

It's been sweltering hot these past few months. The weather's been unpredictable, and rain may fall when it is least expected.

The spring break has been rather short for me. The first week, I was busy with the editing and finishing touches of the video exams plus its submission. The 2nd week was about cleaning the house, picking up the backlog (is that even the proper term?) of laundry, etc. and the 3rd week -this week- my grandma has come over to our house for two weeks.

Hmmm... on another note, I was thinking of going out to buy Kimchi during the weekend at the local Lotte Mart. They have home-made kimchi sold there.

This weekend will be the last for the spring break. I really want to take the opportunity to do some last minute shopping. Haha.

Then, there's the animes my friend has given me (and I really want to finish them before the new semester starts)... which I have gone through about half of them.

Happiness abound!

Hmm.. look at the time... I need to log off.

Well, ja ne!

Rant

I want to be able to have fun on my own, rather than stay at home alone doing nothing but chores all day, all week for the whole semester break. The boredom and loneliness is too much to bear and I find myself reduced to tears.

Loneliness is such a harsh thing to bear, for without the company of at least one other person, and an unreliable cable which shows nothing but static, it's a perfectly boring place to be in. I don't want to spend all day in front of the computer - I want to be out there, walking, looking at things I probably wouldn't buy, but enjoying the exercise none-the-less. But this loneliness just makes the computer an unmoving, emotionless companion.

For the first time, I'm writing something non-optimistic.

I wanted to follow my sister (imouto) to the shopping complex, not to tag along with her friends, but to go the shops I long to go to (away from her and her friends)... like the sushi counter, the giant Japanese cream puff stall... but I know she doesn't like it. So, despite my deepest wish, I told her that it's alright if she didn't want me to follow. Her readiness to agree to that kinda put me down - a lot.

In the first place, I didn't really ask to follow, but my dad proposed that I followed her. I wanted to take up that chance to breathe a little. But as a sister, you can somehow sense what your sibling is feeling. I knew she didn't want me around. So, what could I do?

She's exceedingly lucky to be able to stay somewhere outside of home and experience life away from home. Although I can drive, but my mobility is limited. Dad needs to use my car, and even if I can use the car, it doesn't mean I can simply waltz out.

So here I am, at home, just like every other day, lonely.

LONELINESS.
It's such a scary word. Even if we'll be alone when we die, it doesn't mean that we have to be lonely when we can enjoy other people's company.

A year away from home has made my sister so out-of-tune from my feelings. She can no longer get the hint when her jokes are hurtful to me, when her "aloofness" meant rejection, and when she goes out with her friends and I stay at home alone looking after the house meant I would be lonely while she enjoys time with her friends.

Life, well, it cannot always be fair. Maybe I'll get my share of enjoyment... someday... somehow... if possible... god-willing.

Sigh.