Choice and Consequence

Everybody likes to go their own way—to choose their own time and manner of devotion.
Jane Austen (1775-1817)

I probably should add this too:

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

- Linkin Park, In The End

Anyway, it's been about 3 days since I last posted an entry. I've been busy. The last paper, Biology (written practical) aka Paper 3 was on Friday. I really don't have time to blog when my grades are at stake.

Since the trials have finally ended and I have about a month before the real SPM exams, I thought I should at least make an effort to appease my muse.

Right... Back to business. Next Tuesday is the Eidul Fitr. My sister's birthday is the day after. We'll be going to mom's hometown to visit my grandma and the day after, her eldest brother. It's gonna be a brief visit, especially with a cat of my own and two other cats belonging to my neighbour who is also my uncle to take care of.

I personally think that the world according to moi is turning Topsy-turvy. The Lailatulqadr was on the night of 27th September. I missed it. Don't blame me... blame my friggin hormones.

Indeed... it is only a week of school break; 9 days to be exact. But once school reopens, it'll be less than a week until SPM. I'm getting goosebumps just thinking of it. So now, I found myself sticking my nose in my History textbook trying to memorize every single detail to be able to score an 'A'.

Perhaps I should pay attention to my science subjects. I didn't seem to be paying the attention I should have poured onto these subjects. I'm borderline bored about having to memorize chemical reactions and properties and the salts. It's not like I don't like Chemistry, it's just that I'm bored of taking exams. My life so far has somewhat been about acing exams year after year. It does get to you... honest.

So let me see... how does this relate to that Linkin Park song at the beginning of today's post? Simple; I find that it doesn't matter what people say. I would still go my own path. I will be me and not a person I am dictated to be. I am capable of making my own decisions. So I will strive for that success.

That's it for today. I'm off to watch a repeat of Supernatural.

Help!!!

I've never been so tired before...

Physics and Chemistry papers are done for now. Tomorrow is purely Mathematics -modern maths. I hope I won't make as much careless mistake as I'm prone to do during exams.

Ramadhan will be over in about 5 days. I'm thinking that SPM will follow very soon after. It's only a month until the dreaded SPM.

Anyway, graduation is on the 10th of October. It's a senior affair. Fair enough. I'm not going to the senior prom. Tickets cost about $120-$150. I don't have that much money. SO I'm going to settle on hanging out at home, playing with sakura-neko and improving my skills on the piano.

The recent trials had me miserable enough. I got 6A, 3C and 1D. It's very bad. I have to pull my grades up if I'm ever going to get any scholarship after SPM for further studies.

On the other hand, I have one less thing to worry. The renovations that my house has been going under is almost complete. Cabinets are in, lighting's done, paint jobs are finished. Just exterior painting and timbre decking is all that is left.

In a few hours, my physics tutor is coming in. Dad has asked me to prepare chicken curry for breaking of fast. Let's see... 7.11 pm is the breaking of fast and 6.30 pm is the time I finish my tuition class. You think I might have enough time? I hope so.

Exhausted

Nobody said it was going to be easy...

Really... I mean, since when trials have ever been easy. Today I sat for Biology Paper 2 and Paper 1. Paper 1 was multiple choice so I think I did okay... I hope.

Paper 2 ... can you tell me what they mean when they show you a polypeptide chain and ask about process Y? What is the process which breaks down polypeptides? I can't remember... I'll look it up later in my textbook. The essay section was quite okay.. I mean inheritance, variation was okay... kind of. Here's the kicker.. I totally forgot that humans have 23 chromosomes only! Chromosome 23 are the sex chromosomes, X and Y. I didn't know what came over me. At least I might get the 2nd subsection right.

Anyway.. I'm having Chemistry papers 1 and 2 tomorrow. Physics is on the day after tomorrow. I'm trying to remember all industry processes and salts properties as well as structures of carbon compounds and everything that has to do with chemistry. I hope I won't forget how to calculate tomorrow as I often do during exams... I seem to experience temporary memory loss during exams.. Just so convenient..

I'm getting started on Portrait of a Lady by Henry James. The book seems quite foreboding considering the typeset and paragraphing. Mind you... I borrowed a thrift edition from my aunt. In fact, I always prefer to buy thrift edition of classics.

Just so you know, I expect to have slow progress with the book seeing as I have a week full of Pure Science and Maths to look up to. Yay me :(

But still... I did pick Pure Science.. so I have to deal with my choice. That means I have to study now.. and this means I have to say bye bye.

I'll talk about the book when I've finished it.

Whirlwind

I am so in trouble.

I did not study for the trials.. in fact, I couldn't even concentrate during the exams itself. How do I expect to get distiction if I couldn't do that?

So.. I'll be busy getting ready for Thursday's Biology essay, construct and multiple choice papers, that is, paper 1 and 2. Paper 3-practical will be on Thursday next week. I'm going to nail Bio paper once and for all. I CAN do it, I just need to put a lot more effort into my studies. Lately I have been slacking off like you won't believe an SPM candidate will ever do. In the end, I learnt my lesson.. If I don't study, I'll just get a credit. I want a high distinction, not just credit because that's just who I am.

I wonder when I turned from a demanding perfectionist into a slacker. I gotta wake up.

Anyway, Sakura neko-chan pooed on my brother's bed last night. She did it again! Yesterday morning, she pooed on my aunt's sofa. She's lucky it's leather. As punishment for soiling my brother's bed and leaving a VERY long-lasting odour, Sakura is to stay outside for the whole week until she is potty-trained -properly.

My Physics tutor is coming at 4.30 this evening and my sister only lets me use the laptop for a lousy 45 minutes so this is it.

Maybe I'll have time sometime tonight since tomorrow is a public holiday.

Vauge Rememberance

Here's a kicker... I missed school today. Actually kinda skipped it. I slept in, didn't want to wake up at all. Can you imagine having to be ready by 6.30 am for school? I slept at around 12 am. Assembly starts at 7.15 am and the final call at 7.20. We go to class at about 7.30 am and school ends at 1.05 pm. But since it's the fasting month, we get to go home at 12.30p.m. The Ministry of Education had set the duration for us.

Wednesday is a Public Holiday! Yay! Yet I still have to prepare my CV, Referral letter and copies of certificates and accolades I have accumulated in the past two years for scholarships application. I'm planning to major in Language and Linguistics. My mom is dead set against it. She wants me to major in science or even better, medicine. I don't know.

I'm thinking of researching the current market demand to see which one of those that I can see myself doing with my current credentials. Being a science student cetainly opens up many possibilities but it doesn't help narrow them either.

Tomorrow I will see to it that I wake up and go to school. I really don't need a warning letter from the school. Better be safe than sorry.

Sakura-neko chan

Last night, our friendly neighbourhood security guard gave us a cat.

A kitten to be precise. She's absolutely adorable. My siblings and I looked up for names.. I wanted to name her Suki but my brother insisted on naming her Sakura. Well.. it's not so bad... If I had to compromise with my brother.. it's either Naruto or Sakura.. I'd choose Sakura a thousand times.

Anyway.. school-based trials have ended. This Thursday, it's a whole new story. This time, state-based trials. Ugh.. Less than 2 months to SPM and I'm dreading it already.

On another update.. I actually passed the UNSW ICAS Mathematics with credits! Last year I only managed to scrape participation. Thank God! As for ICAS English, I pulled a distinction out of the many possibilities. I'm very thankful for the small blessings.

On the other hand, trials have not been so good for me. I never did well in exams whenever I am infected with the flu. It's so darn irritating. In fact, I got a D for Chemistry.

But that's it for now. I have to entertain Sakura. She's starting to get bored already.